It's my sister's birthday today and as I mentally send her a happy birthday greeting, I also realise that I may never again get to wish her that in person. She has made the decision to wipe me out of her life permanently. It's a bizarre feeling to not get a say in something so momentous. I could force my way into her consciousness by appearing at her doorstep or phoning her directly but those alternatives seem obnoxious as she appears so resolute in never wanting to see me again.
Although I feel hard done by and hurt by her denial of me, I can only act through my own perspective. I don't know how hard done by she feels although I may think she is being totally absurd. I cannot think of a time when I would feel the need to completely and utterly consign my sibling relationship to the equivalent of the rubbish tip. That doesn't mean I haven't been furious about some imagined slight but to me a familial relationship has always been one to nurture.
The wider world gives us many an example of rifts and strains in social relationships. "The ties that bind us are the ones that divide us" to quote some well known words. Most of us can't even agree on the way to govern ourselves. When I was growing up it was always a mantra that what happened in the family stayed in the family. I loved the round the table discussions that often took place amongst the family. Perhaps they should have been more honest and our disputes instead of being hidden could see the light of day, and lose their authenticity by straight talking.
Happy birthday sister - I wish you well.
No comments:
Post a Comment